If I Never Hear That Again It Will Be Too Soon!

Here’s a tongue-in-cheek look at my top ten list of annoying things I hear as a medical photographer.

(From Medical Personnel)

1. “Yes, we are ready for you now, the dressings are down and the patient has consented”.

Meaning: I have not removed any dressings yet and the patient has absolutely no idea you are coming to take photographs.

2. “Yes, I will be able to assist you when you get here”.

Meaning: When you arrive they will be busy/on a break so you will have to spend the next ten minutes looking for some one else to help you.

3. “Do you need me to remove the dressings before you take the photographs?”

Erm, yes! I find it’s much easier to photograph a wound when I can actually see it!

4. “There’s a photographer here who wants to photograph your bottom”.

Erm, no! I don’t go round the hospital randomly selecting patients bums to photograph. You have a pressure sore and your doctor has requested I document it for your medical records.

5. “Oops, sorry they were given a suppository this morning”

This is an unfortunate (and all too common) consequence of number 4.

(In Theatres)

6. “Could you send a photographer now we will be ready for them in 15 minutes”.

Meaning: The patient has not even been  anaesthetized yet so it will be at least an hour before we are ready for the first photograph.

7. “No we won’t need a photographer for the full procedure, we will only need them for about ten minutes”.

Meaning: It will be at least five hours before you’re finished here so I hope you’ve had a drink, eaten lunch and been to the toilet.

(From Patients)

8. “I bet you’ve not seen anything this bad before”.

Well, no, not since last Tuesday anyway!

9. “Where do you put the photos? They won’t end up on Facebook will they?”

Erm, no! I don’t think your friends and family would appreciate seeing your clinical images appear in their newsfeed.

10. “Should I smile for the photo?”

You can if you like but I’m photographing your feet so it’s not essential!

It could only happen to a Medical Photographer!

This afternoon a lady attended our photographic studio to have full body mole mapping views taken. She had her young son with her who played happily with his toys in the corner for the half an hour or so it took to take all the photographs and dermascopic images.

After work I made my way to the busy tram stop when I heard a child shouting “hiya”, “hiya” from the opposite platform. I looked up to discover the same lady and child. I was just about to wave when the child shouted (rather loudly) “Mummy look there’s the woman who took the photos of you when you had all your clothes off”.

The poor lady went scarlet, luckily her tram arrived soon after and she bundled him on to it before he could say anything else. You can alway trust kids to say it how it is!