If I Never Hear That Again It Will Be Too Soon!

Here’s a tongue-in-cheek look at my top ten list of annoying things I hear as a medical photographer.

(From Medical Personnel)

1. “Yes, we are ready for you now, the dressings are down and the patient has consented”.

Meaning: I have not removed any dressings yet and the patient has absolutely no idea you are coming to take photographs.

2. “Yes, I will be able to assist you when you get here”.

Meaning: When you arrive they will be busy/on a break so you will have to spend the next ten minutes looking for some one else to help you.

3. “Do you need me to remove the dressings before you take the photographs?”

Erm, yes! I find it’s much easier to photograph a wound when I can actually see it!

4. “There’s a photographer here who wants to photograph your bottom”.

Erm, no! I don’t go round the hospital randomly selecting patients bums to photograph. You have a pressure sore and your doctor has requested I document it for your medical records.

5. “Oops, sorry they were given a suppository this morning”

This is an unfortunate (and all too common) consequence of number 4.

(In Theatres)

6. “Could you send a photographer now we will be ready for them in 15 minutes”.

Meaning: The patient has not even been  anaesthetized yet so it will be at least an hour before we are ready for the first photograph.

7. “No we won’t need a photographer for the full procedure, we will only need them for about ten minutes”.

Meaning: It will be at least five hours before you’re finished here so I hope you’ve had a drink, eaten lunch and been to the toilet.

(From Patients)

8. “I bet you’ve not seen anything this bad before”.

Well, no, not since last Tuesday anyway!

9. “Where do you put the photos? They won’t end up on Facebook will they?”

Erm, no! I don’t think your friends and family would appreciate seeing your clinical images appear in their newsfeed.

10. “Should I smile for the photo?”

You can if you like but I’m photographing your feet so it’s not essential!